Broken glass,

Reflective of a broken heart, broken life, broken spirit.
No one sees the pain,
No one sees the scars,
No one sees how disfigured my soul is.
I am bleeding to death from a wound that is hidden in darkness.
If I bring it to the surface, will it go away? 
I have to control the pain.
I'm desperate to control the pain-the death that is taking place deep within me.
If a soul could, by will alone, cease to be, I would.
I know that I am needed.
I know that I am loved,
But, if I could not satisfy the desires of the one person that completes who I am, I cannot satisfy the needs of anyone else.
Lies, they haunt my every waking moment and then creep into my bedroom where I slumber-tossed about by dreams sent to help me make sense out of insanity.
There is no sense, because all is deceptive-not real.  Insanity is the only reality in the caverns of my heart.
Here I am again, desperate to bring to the surface the pain and the insanity.
The glass can bring it to the surface.  As I cut, I feel pain, hot and searing, but I see the pain.  It doesn't hide.  it's there before me in bright red drops.  They run down my legs and out my body, pulsing my very life force.  My life is in my blood and it is escaping.  Run away, run away. 
Calm, peace,
I am in control.
Pain doesn't rule me.  My other self doesn't rule me-insanity rules me, and I am grateful. 
Finally, I have a name to focus my anger, my energy, and my life upon.
Bile flows out from the wounds with deep, dark red liquid.
It carries oxygen-strange when I feel I haven't taken a deep breath for years.
I am totally depleted, and I realize-there is pain-again-agonizing, tormenting purgatory- again-hidden-deep-hidden-in darkness.  Where's the shattered glass-my rescue to control.  It's gone.  I'm choking-
Somebody save me please-
I'm sinking-
Oh, God, save me.
I'm going under.  Swiftly all life is gone.
Goodbye life-my dreams of what might have been.
Goodbye hope-my heartsick soul bids thee adieu.
Unconsciousness-then-
Utter-complete darkness-
Death, I welcome you.